ywithboys3

I attended the funeral services for a friend's husband today.  This poem was read and I thought it was beautiful  


All Is Well


Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always use
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.


   ~ by Henry Scott Holland.

Yesterday a child in our extended community passed away.  This amazing boy has the same primary medical diagnosis as my eldest son.   mkweindorf.blogspot.com/ … am infused with grief and re-connected to those years of overt vulnerability.   In my moments of ovewhelming emotion, I fall back to the words below from Kahil Gibran's "The Prophet". I have found that in my life not only does the deepening of the vessel for grief deepen the vessel for joy - but the deepening of the vessel for joy also deepens my vessel for grief. They are two expressions of the same grace, gift and joy.  

Let me always be grateful and embrace all I have been given.

from The Prophet by Kahil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper the sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and other say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

(and on love)

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and belike a running brook that sings melody to the night,
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Change is in the air.  We have had guests from all over for three weeks - seven at one time for eleven days.  They hailed from Minnesota, Pennsylvania, England and Duarte - they are magnificnet, and they also share our eldest son's medical diagnosis.  

We have adjusted to Violet's passing.  This is the second time I have ever been without a dog.  Seven years ago we adopted two senior golden retrievers, Hugo and Violet.  Hugo passed away after two years, and Violet was lost without him for a year. Violet still had a bit of energy her first two years with us - she chewed to pieces many "indestructible" dog toys and would drag Hugo around the yard as he lay down holding his end of a rope toy.  Hugo was a gentle noble soul that would occasionally get mischief in his eye and with a soft mouth pilfer one of the children's toys.  They were younger then (7, 9 and 12).  One of my favorite memories is Hugo taking a Lego construction, and the look of remorse as it fell apart -in his mouth - even though he was so gentle.  He came over to me and softly dropped the pieces into my hand with such a look of regret and hopefulness.  Both Hugo and Violet tirelessly made sure we were all in bed each night.

Now we are looking to adopt a new family companion.  We have several contenders, the first we will visit this week - Moondoggie.  He has recently become completely blind - and is in all ways a wonderful amazing companion.  Barring mismatched expectations or perosnalities - Moondoggie will be our newest family member soon... I am so optimistic and hopeful.

And we are in the throes of summer transition.  Summer school classes are over.  Fall move in dates for college and payments for tuition are due.  Changes at work and changes as I start a new class this fall as well - with fourteen books to read and seven monthly commitments to meet....

That is my update - forgive me my long absence - hope all of you are well.

Violet softly and gently passed away this morning at about 8:30 with all our hands upon her.  She had been so intensely ill these past three months, that I have in some ways lost how she was the seven years before the aggressive spread of her cancer.  For now, the kitchen where she has been hospiced the last month seems much too large without her, and my hands are emptied of the routine of caring for her.

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